


Homework

by LeeTheSlytherin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: All Dialogue, Attempt at Humor, Bad Puns, But only like one or two, Homework, Homework is EVIL and will eat you, Marauders' Era, Nicknames, Poor Remus, Pre-Relationship, Sirius is an idiot, broom closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 09:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14102247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeTheSlytherin/pseuds/LeeTheSlytherin
Summary: Sirius is just basically an annoying idiot who won't leave Remus alone and Remus just want to get his homework done.





	Homework

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own this.  
> This story is also posted on fanfiction.net by Lee Glance (My other account). So don't sue me if you would against all odds find this story on that website.

"Moony?"

"What?"

"Moooony!"

"What?"

"MOONY!"

" _What is it, Padfoot?"_

"...What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"It looks like you're dying of boredom."

"I'm not the one dying of boredom.  _Y_ _ou_ are."

"I would rather be dying than doing... that... that  _torture."_

_"_ Homework isn't torture, Padfoot."

"Of course it is! Why do you think Prongs has disappeared? To escape from it of course! Actually, come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a while..."

"...Padfoot? Why are you looking like that?..."

"OH MERLIN! HIS HOMEWORK MUST HAVE EATEN HIM! NOOOOO!"

"...I don't really think..."

"I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE!"

"Padfoot..."

"I NEVER EVEN GOT TO PRANK HIM ONE LAST TIME!"

"I..."

"ALL BECAUSE HIS HOMEWORK ATE HIM UP!"

"...Sure, Padfoot. 'Cause that is  _so_  logical."

"Of course it is! What else could have happened?!"

"You do remember that you locked him inside a broom closet with Lily, right? Like, 15 minutes ago? You literally came in here, laughing and grinning like a madman, saying 'I just locked Prongs and Evans in a broom closet', before collapsing on your bed."

"...I like my version better."

"Of course you do. Now, can you go annoy somebody else? I really have to write this essay..."

"Like who?"

"Wormtail?"

"Well, I  _could_ have, if I knew where he is! Maybe his homework ate him too! Gasp! IT'S A CONSPIRACY!"

"No. Just no. It's not."

"Why don't you think it is a conspiracy too? The evidence is right in front of us! Like, literally! I can see it right in front of me!"

"You're holding an empty parchment in front of you."

"No, it's not parchment! It's...  _evidence!_ "

"Suuuure, Padfoot. Whatever you say. Anyway, last time I saw Wormtail he was trying to prank some second years with some muggle pranks."

"Oh. Right. Well, it  _is_  quite hilarious to see that people can be so stupid to fall for such simple things, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah, but  _I_  remember Wormtail managed to prank  _you_  with them not long ago, if my memory isn't wrong."

"Details, details. I still don't know how he managed to make a sickle appear behind my ear though..."

"You're hopeless."

"Nope, still Sirius."

"I'm going to shove my quill down your throat if you don't shut up."

"Are you  _threatning_ me, Moony?! Gasp! I never would have thought... A  _prefect_  like you, of all students..."

"I will hang your corpse up in the chandelier, if you don't  _shut the bloody hell up_."

"Moony! Are you  _cursing_ now?! Where has the world gone to?!"

"...To the dogs."

"..."

"..."

"I'll give you that one."

"Thank you."

"...Now, put down that evil spawn of the darkest corner there is before it eats you too and start causing trouble with me!"

"Go away."

"If I ask really nice, will you cause trouble with me?"

"Shut up."

"Really, really nice?"

"I'm warning you Padfoot."

"So nice that sweet candy seems sour?"

"I will physically  _hurt_ you."

"..."

"..."

"...Please?"

"..."

"Shit."

"..."

"HEY PADFOOT, LILY IS..."

"..."

"..."

"Why is Padfoot hanging from the chandelier, Moony?"

"He wouldn't shut up, Prongs. Like always."

"Ah, okay. That explains it. Well, anyway, Padfoot, Lily is coming soon and I will just say...  _She is mad!_  Though I don't understand why... I mean, I had a great time! Well, at least when she wasn't trying to curse me... Anyway, I would start running if I were you."

"...Could you help me down first?"

"Sure."

"..."

"..."

"OUCH!"

"Sorry, mate."

"I meant that you could help me down  _without_ making me fall to the ground!"

"You didn't say that!"

"I didn't think I would need to!"

"Be more clear the next time then!"

"There won't be a next time!"

"Oh, please! As long as you keep annoying Moony, there will  _always_  be a next time!"

"No, it won't! I..."

"BLACK!"

"Shit!"

"Ooooh! You're in trouble!"

"Shut up Prongs!"

"I WILL KILL YOU, BLACK!"

"Well, hello to you too, Evans! Quite a wonderful day, isn't it? To sunny to be locked inside the castle..."

"..."

"Oh shit."

"Padfoot, stop talking and start  _running!_ "

"Already on it mate! But believe me, this won't be the last time you see the legendary, mysterious, handsome Sirius Black! We will meet again soon... BUT NOT NOW, 'CAUSE I GOTTA GO!"

"DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY BLACK!"

"YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!"

"I DON'T INTEND TO!"

"..."

"..."

"Well, that went as excepted."

"Just... Just go Prongs. Please. I really need this essay done and I bet Wormtail is more fun than me right now. He can probably even show you some muggle magic tricks! Or pranks! Maybe even both!"

"But Moony, I can't leave you with...  _that!_  Don't you know homework can be dangerous? You see, they can actually eat you up if you don't..."

"Prongs. Go. Away. Now. Or it isn't just Sirius that will get hurt."

"You know what, I think Wormtail is doing something fun, I'll just go and check..."

"Good."

"..."

"Am I right thinking you aren't gone yet?"

"Yep. I think I'll just stay here... Talk whenever I want... Annoy you... Cast a protego so you can't hurt me... At least not much... I actually wonder why Sirius haven't tried to cast one himself yet... It would help him so he won't get cursed or hurt to a certain extinct..."

"..."

"Now, Moony, there is no need to slam your head against the table repeatedly..."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm quite content with this story, actually! But knowing me, there's probably a thousand wrongs in this story... Oh well. *Shrugs and wanders off in a hunt for candy*


End file.
